Is My Breast Cancer Story Worth Sharing?

(Updated 3.26.20)

When I decided to make this blog my next career move, I vowed to myself that I wasn’t going to let its focus be breast cancer. Why? I don’t want breast cancer to define me.

I need to be more than a survivor wearing a pink ribbon! Cancer, in general, is a downer, and I am a very upbeat person. I am quick-witted (thanks mom) and try not to take myself too seriously. I feel compelled to make others feel good. Cancer doesn’t make anyone feel good. Besides, I am not sure that my particular breast cancer story is worth sharing. So, why should I write about it? Good question.

Last weekend I was with a friend who inquired how things were going with my blog. He said, “I really haven’t had a chance to read all the posts, but I’m sure you are helping a lot of other breast cancer survivors.” I informed him that my blog was not focusing on my breast cancer and he looked at me like I had two heads then simply asked, “Why not? Isn’t that a subject that you are very familiar with? I bet you could help a lot of people if you wrote about it.” He expressed such a logical train of thought, don’t you think?

Last evening, another friend texted me to compliment me on one of my posts. I told him I am a work in progress and am still figuring out social media venues and how they all interact with each other (it’s a challenging puzzle). His unbelievably kind response was, “Keep up the great work, there are so many people who can really benefit from what you have to say.” Wow, now I am starting to feel some pressure.

Both these conversations got me thinking, how can I weave my experience with breast cancer into my blog without putting my readers into a depression? The answer came to me pretty quickly – I can write about the ways breast cancer positively impacted my life. Yup, you read that right – the word cancer and positive can be in the same sentence. While I freely admit cancer negatively impacted my life in oh, so many ways, it most definitely has had a positive impact on me as well.

I do believe everything happens for a reason. I am still not sure why I was selected to have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma or breast cancer, but, I was. To bring everyone up to speed, I am currently almost three years cancer-free. My original diagnosis was in October of 2016. I had two surgeries, four infusions of Docetaxel and Cyclophosphamide chemotherapy (over the course of 12 weeks). Try and say that three times fast! After chemo, I had seven weeks of radiation during which time I contracted a near-fatal bout with Sepsis. The Sepsis was brought on by a kidney stone. The kidney stone had to be surgically removed once the radiation ended. Bottom line, I spent 2017 physically sick and, basically, flat on my back on a couch. It was awful, but I survived! And, my whole life changed.

My reason for sharing the medical details of my cancer journey is so that you have some perspective when I give you the “deets” on the positive experiences my illness introduced to me. It was not easy to find the good in my diagnosis but I persevered every day looking for something I could hold onto or point to as a “win.”

As soon as word got out that I had breast cancer, everyone had an opinion. People felt compelled to tell me about how their mom had it three times and still survived; or, that their sister-in-law continued to work every day through her treatments and never lost her SVP job. “You need to get at least 3 doctor opinions before selecting your treatment options.” “You have to go to Sloan Kettering or you don’t stand a chance.” “Keep as much as possible from your kids, they don’t need to know how sick you really feel.” The unsolicited comments and advice came fast and furious. It was very overwhelming to hear this all when I was already feeling so vulnerable.

I am convinced that I am not the only newly diagnosed breast cancer patient that has experienced this type of behavior from family and friends. When feeling particularly frustrated after having had conversations like this, I always kept my Mom’s mantra of “this too, shall pass” in the forefront of my mind. It helped and, quite frankly, it was nicer than thinking all these people were assholes. I know their intent was good, but they needed to keep those stories to themselves.

So, after taking some time to think about this today, I have decided that I will begin a six week series of posts detailing how my life has been positively impacted by breast cancer. Would you be compelled to read that type of post? I have come up with the following topics: Acceptance, Faith, Positivity, Clarity, Identity, and Hope. Please let me know in the comment section below if there’s any other topic you would like me to cover. My intent is to kick off this series next Tuesday by publishing a post on Acceptance. I am excited to share how breast cancer’s impact on my life hasn’t been all bad. Weird, but true.